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The Holy Roman Empire is the Walking Dead

Napoleon's victory over Austria has broken the back of the Holy Roman Empire. Emperor Francis the 2nd is forced to concede all the land left of the Rhine to France, and a large portion of what is modern day Germany is reorganized by Napoleon into what will eventually be called the Confederation of the Rhine or as some cynics might call it, Napoleon's Supply Depot. Certainly he will draw many trained troops from the region who will remain true to Napoleon as long as he keeps winning. The Holy Roman Empire will linger in name, but in reality it is no more. In a few more years, Emperor Francis the 2nd will change his name to Emperor Francis the 1st of the Austrian Empire and start another war with Napoleon, but that will turn into an even worse defeat, forcing Emperor Francis to ally with France and marry off his daughter, Marie Louise, to Napoleon, the man who had defeated him. That is a difficult pill for any father to swallow but his family is well-known for selling off its daughters for political reasons and he had let the French guillotine his aunt, Marie Antoinette, rather than offer any concessions for her release. So... feel sorry for his daughter but not for him. [1] [2]

My Take by Alex Shrugged
You are probably wondering what happened to Josephine. She was supposed to be Napoleon's one true love. Well... he continued to love her, but she could not produce a child between them. She did have a daughter from her previous marriage who, in turn, produced a grandchild, Napoleon Charles, who was the designated heir, but the child died of the croup... probably bacterial. The croup is a lung infection characterized by a barking cough. In those days the croup was often fatal. In the modern day, bacterial croup is rare due to the childhood vaccine for diphtheria. Apparently, diphtheria is associated with this more serious attack. Viral croup is more common in the United States and is mild in comparison, though in a few cases it can still kill. Since Napoleon needed an heir, he informed Josephine that he was divorcing her because he needed to marry "a womb" as he put it. They parted on friendly terms though she was initially upset. (Oh yeah.) She retained the title of Empress and remained in France until her death. [3] [4]

Thomas Jefferson is the Walking President

We are all republicans--we are all federalists. --Thomas Jefferson, Inaugural Address, March 4, 1801

It is a political requirement of the time to seem reluctant to run for office, but the race for the Presidency has become nasty. Proxies criticize one's opponents while the candidate remains above the fray or "Presidential." John Adams sees himself as a philosopher King who is above partisanship. Thomas Jefferson is hardly a man of the people, but instead of a regal display, he walks to his inaugural ceremony. Let's be clear. He is surrounded by soldiers carrying drawn swords and he is trailing a large entourage. One might call it a parade. As he enters the Senate chamber he is met by his Vice-President, the man who has delivered the Presidency to him, Aaron Burr. It was not an easy delivery. Confusion in the Constitution threw the election into the House of Representatives. They fought between a Jefferson-Burr Administration or a Burr-Jefferson Administration, Aaron Burr remained strangely passive until Jefferson got the votes. In 1804, the 12th Amendment will clear up the confusion for future elections, but at the present time, Jefferson doesn't trust Burr. (And he shouldn't.) [5] [6] [7]

My Take by Alex Shrugged
Aaron Burr was called an American Napoleon by Alexander Hamilton which is a bit like a politician calling a prostitute ... well... never mind. (Burr killed Hamilton in a duel, thus ending two political careers though I think Hamilton would have preferred it had gone the other way.) Aaron Burr was also the father of modern campaigning in his mudslinging and vote gathering schemes. The United States is not a direct democracy. Electors act as a balance between the popular vote and the desires of the political establishment. (This is both good and bad.) In the old days those electors could vote as they wished or as they pledged to vote. Some states have enacted laws to commit their electors to certain voting percentages but each state is different. When the election between Al Gore and George W. Bush became a joke of Florida recounts and dangling chads, some people called for the electors to vote as they did in the old days... for the rightful President... whoever that was. No sense going over that mess again. We'll wait until the history segment for the year 2000. By then Al Gore will have invented the Internet. (For those who have had humor-by-pass surgery, that was a joke!) [8]

The Submarine Nautilus Launches

Robert Fulton has built the first recognizable modern submarine and it's all for France. When he first proposed the idea he got the runaround, and very little funding, but he has managed to put together an experimental model that is run by two men turning a hand-crank that powers a propeller. It can maintain a speed a little faster than a rowboat, submerge to 25 feet and deploy mines, but when Napoleon shows up for a demonstration, the submarine is in repair. Napoleon believes he is being conned. Fulton will try again later but he will be rebuffed. Then the UK will pay Fulton to build one for them in the same way that a major company will buy a smaller one and then let it dribble off to nothing. Fulton's submarine was a little too good to leave to the French and by the time Fulton gets to the UK, the war with France will be over. Fulton will move to the United States and produce a workable steamboat. [9] [10]

My Take by Alex Shrugged
I must hold my temper when some big company buys out the new and coming thing. This is especially true of software, when all the big company is really trying to do is to kill the competition. They will incorporate a few new things into their existing product line but the super app that I really loved goes bye-bye or is modified to the point that it is useless. I'd provide examples but I don't want to be sued. Skype had so much potential... oops! [11] [12]

In Other News

  • Carbon Paper is invented. It is actually part of a typewriter system created for the blind Countess Carolina Fantoni. [13]
  • The term 'invertebrate' is coined. It means 'spineless creatures.' By next year the term 'biology' will be coined. [14]
  • The United Kingdom is born and the Union Jack is its flag. Ireland is unified with Great Britain to become the UK. [10]

This Year in Wikipedia

Year 1801, Wikipedia.

See Also


  1. �� Treaty of Lunéville - Wikipedia (2016). Retrieved on 6 June 2016. “The Treaty of Lunéville was signed in the 'Treaty house' of Lunéville on 9 February 1801. The signatory parties were the French Republic and Holy Roman Emperor Francis II, who was negotiating on his own behalf as ruler the hereditary domains of the Habsburg Monarchy and also on behalf of the other rulers who controlled territories within the Holy Roman Empire.”
  2. Confederation of the Rhine - Wikipedia (2016). Retrieved on 6 June 2016. “Napoleon sought to consolidate the modernizing achievements of the revolution, but he wanted the soldiers and supplies these subject states could provide for his wars. Napoleon required it to supply 63,000 troops to his army. The success of the Confederation depended on Napoleon's success in battle; it collapsed when he lost the Battle of Leipzig in 1813.”
  3. Croup. kidshealth.org (2016). Retrieved on 6 June 2016. “Croup is a condition that causes an inflammation of the upper airways — the voice box (larynx) and windpipe (trachea). It often leads to a barking cough or hoarseness, especially when a child cries.”
  4. Symptoms and causes - Croup - Mayo Clinic. mayoclinic.org (2016). Retrieved on 6 June 2016. “Croup is usually caused by a virus infection, most often a parainfluenza virus.”
  5. Twelfth Amendment to the United States Constitution - Wikipedia (2016). Retrieved on 6 June 2016. “Problems with the original procedure arose in the elections of 1796 and 1800. The Twelfth Amendment refined the process whereby a President and a Vice President are elected by the Electoral College. The amendment was proposed by the Congress on December 9, 1803, and was ratified by the requisite three-fourths of state legislatures on June 15, 1804.”
  6. Ellis, Joseph J.. American Sphinx: The Character of Thomas Jefferson. Vintage. ISBN 9780679764410. “But New York had gone decisively for Jefferson, providing his slim margin of victory. And the man who had delivered the electors of New York to Jefferson's camp was the irrepressible Aaron Burr, whose price for this important contribution was a place on the ballot alongside Jefferson.” 
  7. Alex Shrugged notes: I also snagged the Jefferson quote from the Inaugural address from Ellis's book "American Sphinx" as well.
  8. Bush v. Gore - Wikipedia (2016). Retrieved on 6 June 2016. “The decision allowed Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris's previous certification of George W. Bush as the winner of Florida's 25 electoral votes to stand.”
  9. Nautilus (1800 submarine) - Wikipedia (2016). Retrieved on 6 June 2016. “Though knowing the French had no further interest, the British preferred to keep a control on this dangerous device by paying Fulton £800 to come to England (his original planned destination before going to France) and develop a second Nautilus for them. The victory at Trafalgar made his work no longer a danger, and he was ignored until he left, in frustration, for America in October 1806.”
  10. 10.0 10.1 Grun, Bernard. The Timetables of History: A Horizontal Linkage of People and Events. Simon and Schuster, 374-375. 
  11. Microsoft Buys Skype for $8.5 Billion. Why, Exactly? - WIRED. wired.com (May 10, 2011). Retrieved on 6 June 2016. “Last year, Skype had revenue of $860 million on which it posted an operating profit of $264 million. However, overall it made a small loss of $7 million, and had long-term debt of $686 million. This is the second time Skype has been bought out; after being started in 2003, it was purchased by eBay in 2005 for $3.1 billion. EBay then sold the majority of its stake in 2009 to a private investment group for $1.2 billion less than it paid.”
  12. Phil Zimmermann - Wikipedia (2016). Retrieved on 6 June 2016. “After the government dropped its case without indictment in early 1996, Zimmermann founded PGP Inc. and released an updated version of PGP and some additional related products. That company was acquired by Network Associates (NAI) in December 1997, and Zimmermann stayed on for three years as a Senior Fellow. NAI decided to drop the product line and in 2002, PGP was acquired from NAI by a new company called PGP Corporation. Zimmermann served as a special advisor and consultant to that firm until Symantec acquired PGP Corporation in 2010.”
  13. Pellegrino Turri - Wikipedia (2015). Retrieved on 8 January 2016. “Pellegrino Turri, an Italian inventor, invented a mechanical typing machine, one of the first typewriters in 1801 for his blind lover Countess Carolina Fantoni da Fivizzano. He also invented carbon paper to provide the ink for his machine.”
  14. Jean-Baptiste Lamarck - Wikipedia (2016). Retrieved on 15 March 2016. “In 1801, he published Système des animaux sans vertèbres, a major work on the classification of invertebrates, a term he coined. In an 1802 publication, he became one of the first to use the term biology in its modern sense.”

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